Commanding a room isn’t about having the biggest title or the loudest voice. It’s about how you show up—and how others feel when they’re around you.
Let me share a quick story that shows exactly what I mean.
The Night I Commanded a Room—Without a Title
A few years ago, I was the keynote speaker at a big leadership conference in Miami Beach. The night before my speech, I went to one of the networking events. No one there knew who I was.
But I walked in with intention. I carried myself like I belonged. I approached people, introduced myself, and started conversations.
About an hour in, an executive pulled me aside. He said, “Can you teach me how to command a room like you do? Anytime I walk into events like this, I feel intimidated. I never know how to start conversations.”
I smiled and said, “Of course.”
And I told him what I’m about to tell you. Four simple techniques that help you walk into any room—anywhere—and instantly have presence. No fancy title required.
1. Mindset: It All Starts in Your Head
What you say to yourself before you walk into a room is the game-changer.
If your inner dialogue is, “I don’t belong here” or “I hope no one talks to me,” you’ll show up exactly like that—small, disconnected, invisible.
So here’s what I tell myself before I step into any room:
“I’m going to radiate confidence and power. I’m here to connect, elevate others, and create real conversations.”
This one line changes everything. It shifts my focus away from me and onto them. I stop worrying about how I look or what I should say. Instead, I show up curious, engaged, and ready to make others feel seen.
Try This Exercise:
Before your next event, say that line to yourself three times. Out loud. With conviction.
Watch how different you feel when you walk through the door.
2. Body Language: Walk Like You Belong
People judge your presence before you say a single word. Your body language tells them if you’re confident or unsure.
And here’s the truth: you belong in any room you step into. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be there.
Here’s what confident body language looks like:
- Stand Tall: Shoulders back, chest open. No slouching.
- Smile: Not a forced, plastic smile. A natural, “I’m glad to be here” smile.
- Make Eye Contact: Look people in the eyes when you walk in and when you talk. It signals, “I’m present. I’m here. I see you.”
Try This Exercise:
Stand in front of a mirror for two minutes every day.
- Adjust your posture until it looks strong and relaxed.
- Practice your “room-entry” walk.
- Smile genuinely and hold that eye contact.
It might feel awkward at first. But soon, it’ll feel natural.
3. Voice: Speak Like You Mean It
The way you speak determines whether people tune in or tune out.
If you mumble, rush, or speak softly, your words lose impact. But when you speak clearly, with energy, people stop and listen.
Here’s how to make your voice work for you:
- Speak 10% Louder: Project your voice just a little more than usual. It signals confidence.
- Slow Down: When people get nervous, they rush. Slow your words down by 10–20%.
- Add Energy: Speak like you care about what you’re saying. Because if you sound bored, others will be bored.
Try This Exercise:
Record yourself introducing yourself out loud:
- First, say it the way you normally would.
- Then, say it with more energy and slightly slower.
Listen back. Which version sounds more confident and engaging? That’s the one you want to use.
4. Listening: Make People Feel Like the Most Important Person in the Room
Want people to be drawn to you? Listen to them like they’re the only person in the world.
Most people fake-listen. They nod while thinking about what to say next. But when you listen—really listen—you create an instant connection.
Here’s how to be a great listener:
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: “What do you love most about your work?”
- Paraphrase Back: “So it sounds like you’re really excited about the new project. What makes it so rewarding?”
- Show Genuine Appreciation: “That’s such a unique perspective. Thanks for sharing that with me.”
Try This Exercise:
In your next conversation, ask at least three follow-up questions.
- Dig deeper.
- Show real curiosity.
- Make the other person feel like their story matters—because it does.
Let’s Recap
Commanding a room comes down to these four things:
- Mindset: Walk in with the belief that you have value to offer.
- Body Language: Stand tall, smile, and look people in the eyes.
- Voice: Speak clearly and with energy.
- Listening: Make others feel heard and valued.
Do that consistently, and people will feel your presence the moment you walk in.
Final Thought
That executive I met in Miami? He later hired me as his coach. A year later, he told me his confidence had skyrocketed—and his ability to own a room had completely transformed.
The same can happen for you.
Practice these four techniques. Show up with intention. And then let me know how it goes.
If you’re ready to level up your networking and leadership skills even faster, reach out. I’d love to help you unlock the next level of your potential. 💥
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